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The Collected Tweets of @goatunit (part 2) - Tanning Beds Explode (with rich women inside) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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The Collected Tweets of @goatunit (part 2) [Jan. 27th, 2013|01:42 pm]
Pro Tip: Drink vodka until you can't read. Click "Add to Cart" until total price is six digits. Complete purchase. #Santa4Grownups

When I go senile, I don't think I will be irritable about it. I am used to being confused by absolutely everything I encounter.

Maybe it's racist to say, but I think white people make the best racist tweets. #WhiteGirlWednesday

If you don't know how to get to the Forbidden Zone, just don't even waste my fucking time.

If it wasn't for mixed nuts, I wouldn't have no nuts at all.

I know I'm playing right into their hands, but every time I see a dick in a movie, I laugh.

Just once, I want someone to tell me that he's religious, but not spiritual.

I heard a terrible rumor that you watch America's Got Talent, and that you really care who is going to win. Also, you respect the judges.

What if God is real and he judges us as a team?

#Liberalism is about making positions of power available to all people. #Leftism is about dismantling the architecture of power.

90% of graphics options in video games. #ThingsIDontUnderstand

I hope Donald Trump is ok. I haven't heard otherwise - I just wish him the best as a fellow human being.