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The Collected Tweets of @goatunit (part 5) - Tanning Beds Explode (with rich women inside) [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
goatunit

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The Collected Tweets of @goatunit (part 5) [Jan. 30th, 2013|09:44 pm]
goatunit
When I die, I'm going to immediately attack the biggest ghost I see, because what if it's like prison?

When did God stop using fish-swallowing to make dudes do the right thing?

Don't normally do #celebgossip, but feeling conflicted between hatred of Kim Kardashian and intense fetish for pregnant Armenians.

Super Mario Brothers on NES. Level 8-1. Perfect metaphor for anything.

How many hours of music do you have to have on your computer before everyone has to agree that you're cool?

Other people who do things the wrong way must be punished.

Don't buy Vanna White's beauty tips book you guys. It's just one long, carefully worded contract with the devil.

Sometimes I see something weird, like a guy yelling at some birds, and I think maybe it's a clue.

#SkyrimRap Gotta hit ctrl if you gonna tresspass / it's like bacne, these haters keep spottin' my ass

Movie Idea: 'Roided Out Bros in Space

Once lost $800 trying to fight kobolds at a craps table.

What if RIAA artists have their IP protected, but have to pay residuals for each cultural reference? Money divided equally among citizens.

"Aren't you that guy who tries to look like he is the same kind of person that he thinks everyone else is?" #IGetThatALot
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: wintersillusion
2013-02-12 01:19 pm (UTC)
I think my favorite is the first one. All pretty funny though. Thanks, I really needed a laugh today!
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: tcpip
2013-04-06 12:29 pm (UTC)
Happy birthday, goat of unity.
(Reply) (Thread)